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Hello from the Magic Tavern

Episodes

Hello from the Magic Tavern
  • Home/
  • The Podcast/
    • Episodes
    • Bonus Content
  • Community/
    • Patreon
    • Wiki
    • Book club
  • Merchandise/
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  • Contact/

Episodes


December 07, 2020

Season 3, Ep 70 - Arnor's Next Feat

December 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 70 - Arnor's Next Feat

Arnor the legendary warrior crashes into Castle Skullmaster with some surprising news.

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December 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Obsidian Sword, Shattered, Teleport, The Shattering, Murder Can, Usidore's Hand, Arnor, Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Time Travel Vision Quest, Time Travel, Killing Butterflies, Obsidian, Fragment Walls, Feats, Shafted, Dark Lord, The Fragmenting, Fiction Books, Wellness Spa, Bornian Hotsprings, The Handsome Duck, Lady Maribelle, Obsidian Mines, Wall Balls, Bruce the Sky God, Lost Bill, Soul Walker, Helping Verbs, Crispin the Pervert, Hot Spring
November 30, 2020

Season 3, Ep 69 - 1989: Scary Neighbor

November 30, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 69 - 1989: Scary Neighbor

13 year old Arnie thinks he's witnessed a murder so Usidore and Chunk help him break into his neighbor's house.

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November 30, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
1989, Ohio, Aw Yeah 80's, Insurance Salesman, Alf Mug, Pumping Out Shit, Aunt, Drink Me, Creepy Neighbor, Tape Recorder, Snakes, Arnie: Breaking and Entering, Glass, Mysterious Man, Child Neighbor, Home Alone, Soft Soul, Hiding, Roast Pig, Euchre, Stretch Armstrong, Dead Body, Gollum, Pee, Candy, Home Box Office, HBO, Brian Benben, Jump on Bed, Beers!, Admiral Mysterious, Emperor Kreig, Transmitter, AI, A.I., Artificial Intelligence, Castle Kreig, Space Castle Kreig, Light Bright, Strange Danger, Aprel Füls
November 23, 2020

Season 3, Ep 68 - 1989: Group Project

November 23, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 68 - 1989: Group Project

13-year old Arnie works on a school project with his classmate, Julie. Still trapped in 1989 Ohio, Usidore becomes a chemistry teacher.

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November 23, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Turn Tape Over, Teddy Ruxpin, 1989, Class Project, Mcgruff the Crime Dog, Hello from the Suburban Duplex, Rickey Henderson, Cedar Point, Cult of Personality, Professor Usidore, Wet Dream, Cool Skunk, Gettin' Nuts, Cult, E! All Night, SNL, Nick at Nite, Handies, Meijener, Murder of Crows, Earth Candy, Loafin', Alf Mug, Renaissance Faire, Ahead of the Curve, Ren and Stimpy, Devon Lava, Fucked a Couch, 22oz Bitch, Pee-wee Herman, Mug, Drink Me
November 16, 2020

Season 3, Ep 67 - 1989: Walking Around Meijer (w/ Paul Brittain)

November 16, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 67 - 1989: Walking Around Meijer (w/ Paul Brittain)

Usidore and Chunt are still stuck in 1989 Ohio with a 13-year old Arnie. They participate in the local tradition of walking around a Meijer Superstore and meet a teenager working there until his band takes off.

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November 16, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
1989, Ohio, Meijer, Chunk, Meijer Superstore, Remote Episode, Sonia Sotomayor, Velcro Wallet, Rent VHS Tapes, Scratch Offs, WIne, Movies, Employee, Tape Recorder, Tape, VHS Tapes, Talk Show, Donahue, Lance, Misfits, Misfarts, Jem and the Holograms, Smoking, Smoke Break, Squeeze Its, Magic Spells, Pretzels, Pretzel Trunks, Dunkaroo, Remote Control, Record Deal, Music Band, Doom Metal, Satan's Nutsack, Tipper Gore, Ouija Board, Kurt Russell, Fate of Earth, AMC Theatres, Advance Copies, Cool Guy, Lollapalooza, Phillip Collins, Pantie Aisle, Perry Farrell, Satan's Dicksack, Long Hair, Heather Locklear Poster, DJ Scat Cat, Grease 2, Back 1 the Future, Cigarettes, Drummer, Concept Album, Trapped in Satan's Nutsack, Satan's Wet Dream, Tween, Ween, Jake Lava, The Hair of Phillip Collins, Lance Armstrong
November 09, 2020

Season 3, 66 - 1989

November 09, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, 66 - 1989

Cassette tapes were found of a 13 year old Arnie Niekamp pretending to host a talk show in his bedroom. Some claim these include evidence of paranormal activity.

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November 09, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
1989, Arnie Niekamp Show, TV Guide, Telephone, 1.21 Gigawatts, Time Travel, Time Warp, Wizard and Skunk, Willie Tanner, Alf, Imagination, Younger Version of Self, Cool Skunk, Chunk, VHS, Cassette Tapes, The Burbs, Clear Phone, Podcast, MC Shiteater, Jackoff Games, Handcheck, 13 Year Old, Late Nite w/ Arnie Niekamp, Chunk the Skunk, Shmarnie, Garfield, Comic Strips, Webelos, Webelo, Hard Socks, Action Figures, TMNT, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers, Top 10 Lists, Falcon Crest, Empty Nest, Mayo, Wings, Mayonnaise Sandwiches, Sears Catalog, Video Outpost, Book Nook, Things & Pills, Fruitopia, Garbage Pail Kids, It's Like a Baby Thing, Stab in the Eye, Basic AF, Strong Language, Creative Writing, Rent VHS Tapes
November 02, 2020

Season 3, Ep 65 - The Last Can

November 02, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 65 - The Last Can

Can the Wizard returns to help solve a time mystery... and yell about his own murder.

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November 02, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Artifact, Artifacts, Painting, Portrait, Obsidian Sword, Can the Wizard, Time Mystery, James Bond, Can's Death, Shirt Factory, Extended Groundhog Effect, Mayonnaise, Tapestry, Nemesis, Remember the Future, You Only Live One Time, Can-Force, Can-Do Crew, Third Hand, Can-Kind, Sandwich Buffet, Drew, Sandwich Night, No Pubes, Only Fans, And That's the Tea, Scott Aukerman, U Talkin' U2 To Me?, Shrewd Donger, Can Voice, Time Crime, You Might Be a Can, Time Warp
October 26, 2020

Season 3, Ep 64 - Chunt for Red October 6: Chunt for Bread October (w/ Dan Lippert and Drew Tarver from Teachers' Lounge)

October 26, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 64 - Chunt for Red October 6: Chunt for Bread October (w/ Dan Lippert and Drew Tarver from Teachers' Lounge)

It's time for the yearly Chunt for Red October blood drive for vampires. This year the charity event is crashed by a pair of aliens with a very specific weakness.

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October 26, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Chunt for Red October, Skullmaster, Castle Skullmaster, Blood Drive, Sexy, Mental Litmus Test, Were you JUST masturbating, Painting, Rat Blood, Portrait, 2 Entities, Bread Trail, Movies, Hunt for Bread October, Beatles, Different Planet, Water, Wet Stuff, Who Keeps the Beat, From Space, Magicians, Jacks of Stars, Streaming Balls, Magic Castle, Wet Stuff Addiction, The Beatles, Planet The Beatles, Very Musical, Bite Their Tongues, "Hey Food", "Here Comes the Bun", "Lettuce Bee", Gather Blood, Linda's Husband, Slutty Toaster, Fight Horses, Courtney Love, Put a Spigot in a Horse, Bucket of Horse Blood, Bowl of Truffles and Cilantro, Trulantro, "I Want to Hold Your Ham", Multiple Mouthes, Fringe, White Stuff, A Few Big Cocks, '87 Chevy
October 19, 2020

Season 3, Ep 63 - Spider Mom

October 19, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 63 - Spider Mom

We meet a spider that's stressed out about being stuck at home with her hundreds of children.

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October 19, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Spinder, Web Connection, Skullmaster, Skullmaster's Diary, Castle Skullmaster, Top Came Off, Cynthia the Rat, Artifact, Painting, Ed, Interior Decoration, Dirt Stencil, Full Grown, Spider, Carol the Spider, Spider Children, Remote Learning, 300 Kids, Hookup Culture, Fermented Gnat, Kylah, Boxed Gnat, Wham Bam Thank You Spider Man, Pobody's Nerfect, Kylah Ran, Cross-Stitch, Orb Weaver, Mamma Got Needs, Go on a Date, Bowl of Spiderwebs, No Spider Fucking, Ska Band, Gnatty Light, Mrs. Doubtfire, Home Spooling, Mrs. Dont-Belive-Flame
October 12, 2020

Season 3, Ep 62 - Couch (w/ Heather Anne Campbell and Nick Wiger from How Did This Get Played)

October 12, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 62 - Couch (w/ Heather Anne Campbell and Nick Wiger from How Did This Get Played)

We meet a frightened talking couch and the magician that gave her life.

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October 12, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Olan Mills, Portrait, Painting, Carmen Sandiego, Eggy Baby, Stop Whispering in My Chest, Whispers to Titties, Couch, Sword in Chest, I'm Alive!, Die a Virgin, Drinking, Magician, Sectional Tension, Lesson for Today, Flap Your Cushions, Cushions are Labia, Throw It in the Creek, Rubber Pencil, Take Your Brain, Coin Behind the Ear, Magic Trick, 2 Weeks Old, Suck You Into Oblivion, What is Evil?, Feudal System, Scarves Up Sleeve
October 05, 2020

Season 3, Ep 61 - Brothers (w/Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger from Doughboys)

October 05, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 61 - Brothers (w/Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger from Doughboys)

Two brothers, Big Cat and the Mound, are ready to fight each other to the death.

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October 05, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Olan Mills, Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Middle School Photo, Painting, Artifacts, The Rembrandts, Tight 5, Never Hop Genres for a Sequel, Huge Boys, Fighting, The Mound, Big Cat, Brothers, Twins, Sensitives, Fighting in the Womb, Licker, Pitcher, Mom Died During Childbirth, Fought Father, Fight to the Death, Witchcraft, Arnie and Usidore Fight, Squash a Beef, Bag of Feathers, Figures, Round Boys, Limp Dicks, Biscuit, Champagne Room, Bead Curtain, Sit on the Bed, Tickle Fight, Meadchelob Light, Eating a Biscuit, Biscuit It Be Cookie, Biscuit It Be Up in the Face With the Time, Sentences, Enchanted Armor, Fleshy Bag of Feathers, In the Womb, Pet Semetary, Pet Sematary, G-G-G-Geese, Oatmeal Raisin, Geese, Cruller, Champagne Womb, Morning Yums, Ookie Biscuit
September 28, 2020

Season 3, Ep 60 - Minotaurs (w/Brian Murphy and Caldwell Tanner)

September 28, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 60 - Minotaurs (w/Brian Murphy and Caldwell Tanner)

Two down on their luck minotaurs lure us into their labyrinth. What will we find in the center?

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September 28, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Terrible Hat, Get a Biscuit, Corduroy Shorts, Stupid Hats, Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Barenaked Ladies, Cassette, DQ, Hall of Mirrors, Titty Cops, Maze, Maze Heads, Labyrinth, Minotaurs, Bisonotaur, Bicentenataur, Bones, Minotaur Mini Tour, Minnow Tour, Angry Wizard, Traps, Thirst Trap, Treasure Casket, Big Skeleton Guy, Fiddling with Bones, Whirrly Blade, Bag of Knives, Riddles, Tri-Wizard Cup, Half-Baked Half-Assed Usidore, Corn Basement, Bones are Nature's Corn, Maze Masters, Wet Couch, Rancid Minotaur Piss, Zappity Dappity, Pointer Sisters, Child Skeleton, Corn or Bust
September 21, 2020

Season 3, Ep 59 - Sleeping Prince (w/ Jason Mantzoukas)

September 21, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 59 - Sleeping Prince (w/ Jason Mantzoukas)

Sweet Prince Vantis wakes up from a hundred year sleep. Then he freaks out.

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September 21, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Castle Skullmaster, Shattered, The Shattering, House Sitting, Skullmaster, Dong, Dick Ooh Nice Groin, Nooks and Grannies, Rooms, Butt Room, Miss Havisham, Counting Stairs, Piss Closet, Sleeping Body, Taste My Blade!, Mantzoukas, Carn Vantis, 28242, Kill Skullmaster, House Party, Prince of the Red Desert, Red Desert, Bird Casts, Karen McManus, Velsmeer, Answers from Ghosts, Oasis, Sounds Like a Shirt, SPV, Blow Job Every Day of the Week, TV Shows, Foonie Foodie, Johan Gold, Dunes of Dunia, Gambit, X-Men, Danger Room, Stair Battle
September 14, 2020

Season 3, Ep 58 - Bastard (w/ Greg Hess)

September 14, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 58 - Bastard (w/ Greg Hess)

We meet an angry boy that just might be Skullmaster's secret son.

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September 14, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, The Shattering, Shattered, Thesaurus, Sticker, Vocabulary, Krelbar, Corduroy Shorts, Butt Room, Beard of Bees, Bastard, Roy and Linda Bastard, Hot Dog Buns, Legitimati, Garden, Bony Hand, The Stranger, Mask Play, Skeletons, Skully Masterson, Usidore Land, House Sitting, Skeletons in Oven, Horse's Tail, Migos, Bush, 16 Stone, Machine Head
September 07, 2020

Season 3, Ep 57 - Together

September 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 57 - Together

Arnie, Chunt and Usidore spend some time getting used to being back together and practice talking to each other.

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September 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Krelbar, Duke Krelbar, Usidore Land, Dollywood, Castle Skullmaster, Talbot, Talbot the Badger, Can, Can the Wizard, Parent Trap, Wizard State, Energy Boys, DQ, Dath, D'athaniel Quen'yarvin, Lishtleberry Jam, Butt Room, Skullmaster's Diary, Skullmaster, Ripping Off Toes, Artifacts, The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Bald Punyon, Party Town, Song, Music, Chunt Sex Song, Laser Gun, Dark Room, Butt Grabs, Demon Mask, Slender Bear, Delilah and Stevie, Commadore 64, Pepperoni, Lost Our Minds, Bug Nuts, Rug Nuts, Wheel House, T-Shirts, Status is Marbles
August 31, 2020

Season 3, Ep 56 - The DQ Way (w/ Tim Ryder)

August 31, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 56 - The DQ Way (w/ Tim Ryder)

We're trapped in a cell next to the familiar voice of the elf D’athaniel Quen’yarvin.

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August 31, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Dungeon, House Sitting, Jug of Water, Water, Wizard State, Wizard Coma, Locked Up, 2 Vinces, Usidore Understudy, Fallback Wizard, DQ, Dath, D'athaniel Quen'yarvin, 8 8 8, Borg Borg, Starter Family, Borghilde the Fortune Teller, Searching for Father, Kicking, Kickism, Kickists, In Bed, Energy Boys, Dehydration, Door Kicking, Auditions, Arnieism, Speak Human, Lathe, Afternoon Guard Cronch, Kickin' It with Little Kick, Little Kick
August 24, 2020

Season 3, Ep 55 - Nervous Guard (w/ Bryan Safi)

August 24, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 55 - Nervous Guard (w/ Bryan Safi)

Wictor is the head dungeon guard at Castle Skullmaster... and he's not happy about it!

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August 24, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Shattered, The Shattering, The Fragmenting, Castle Skullmaster, Dum-Dum, Falconstein the Beach Bird, Blown a Castle, Vision Board, Woody, Listless, Stitcher's Moving Castle, Rune Feedback, Reunited, House Sitting, Dungeon Guard, Startled, Spintax, Wetsey, Italian Sparkling Water, Skull Master, Skullmaster, Child Worker, Clammy Hand Station, Life of the Parpy, Scared, Guard, Backwards Sword, Point Guard, Hussy, Caterer, Heart on My Sleeve, Frasier, Parakeet, Dog, Weekend at Parakeet's, Obsidian Sword, High Crimes, Dungeon Songs, Cloud-Clear, Morglorb, Kill them with Kindness, Kindness, Paramore, Speaking French, Rats, Cynthia the Rat, Footloose, Candle, Beauty and the Beast
August 17, 2020

Season 3, Ep 54 - Mouse Queen (w/ Erin Keif)

August 17, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 54 - Mouse Queen (w/ Erin Keif)

Momo the mouse with human strength stops by Castle Skullmaster to introduce everyone to her new boyfriend.

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August 17, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Castle Skullmaster, Badger Body, Juicing, Jerk Off Fruit, Obsidian Sword, Snooping, Organs, Ghostmo, Momo, Mouse, Activia, Woody, Vision Board, Angelic Bean, Crown, Write a Book, Tall Drink of Water, Drank Boyfriend, Piss Bowl Boyfriend, Magic Quill, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Chunt is Here, Chris tals, Tiny Guitar, Lewd igi, Wagon Wheel, Mouse Party, Mouse Cake, Human Throne, 80 Year Queen, Queen, Toilet Water
August 10, 2020

Season 3, Ep 53 - The New Activia (w/ Tawny Newsome)

August 10, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 53 - The New Activia (w/ Tawny Newsome)

Arnie stumbles upon Castle Skullmaster and is surprised to find Activia Barleyfoot inside.

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August 10, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Fingering Rune, Voice Mail, Talbot, Talbot the Badger, Beep, Castle Skullmaster, Activia, Otok, More Horny Bugs Bunny, Castle, What's Up Knock?, House Sitting, Squatting, Lightning Crashes, Thunder, Baked Goods, Birds Carried Kitchen Away, Chill, Stress Free, Relaxed, Ogre Retreat, Tall Scary They Eat People, Ogre the River and Through the Woods, Chris-tles, Crystals, Portrait Commission, Flex Mulligan, 2 Rune Lines, Human Couch, Strong Guy, Skull Master, Obsidian Sword, Evil Risotto, Future Usidore, Eggs Flour and Chocolate, 200 Friends?, Linkedin, Hogsfacer, Hogsface, Clear Skin, Vision Board, Woody, Toy Story, Birds, Eaten by Giant Birds
August 03, 2020

Season 3, Ep 52 - Critic (w/ Edgar Momplaisir)

August 03, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 52 - Critic (w/ Edgar Momplaisir)

A famous critic joins the podcast to talk about his strange relationship to the plays he reviews. Maybe he'll review the podcast!

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August 03, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Talbot, Talbot the Badger, Flex Mulligan, Flex on the Beach, Badger on a Jacked Body, Breaksies, Pee, Peed into Your Soul, OnlyFans, Brim and Brews, Brim and Brew, Tiny Usidore, Cock Ticklers, Cor Blimey, Pulitzer Prize, Finger the Rune, Critic, Jarmaine, Stage, Chuntworth, By the Moon, Ham Ill Ton, Oedipus, Ed or Piss, Arnold, Murder Actors, Validated Parking, Married Mother Murdered Father, Reviewing Podcast, Chekhov in the Theatre, Lightning Crashes, Live, Peeweyth Herman, Black Box Theatre, Illiterate, Hungry Wolf, Barther Miller, Joe the Mage Eyoo
July 27, 2020

Season 3, Ep 51 - Former Sheriff

July 27, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 51 - Former Sheriff

We check in with Gianessa, the former Sheriff of Hogsface, who is trying to rebuild and running for office. Actually running for many offices.

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July 27, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Blair Kenny, Talbot, Talbot the Badger, Flex Mulligan, Badger on a Jacked Body, Decomposing, Draggin' Ass, Amphibians, When Wizards Die, Tiny Tavern in Usidore's Hat, Hat on a Hat, Hogsfacer, Brim and Brews, New Vermilion Minotaur, Gianessa Relkorus, Left a Note, Chickens, Penguins is Chickens, Re-election, Vote, Voting, Mayor Manana, Manana Bread, Disguised as a Man, Fictional Penis, Normal Woman Size, Slogan, Jingle, Shut and Vote for Me, Bear Arms, Brick Shit-House, Halls, Debates, Dr. Ladder
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