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Hello from the Magic Tavern

Episodes

Hello from the Magic Tavern
  • Home/
  • The Podcast/
    • Episodes
    • Bonus Content
  • Community/
    • Patreon
    • Wiki
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  • Merchandise/
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Episodes


January 12, 2025

Season 5, Ep 39 - Master of Rules (w/ Peter Gwinn)

January 12, 2025/ Garrett Schultz
Season 5, Ep 39 - Master of Rules (w/ Peter Gwinn)

All of the rules of Foon are being updated and the Master of Rules is here to reveal the new rule manuals.

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January 12, 2025/ Garrett Schultz/
Ass Always by My Good Butt, Cologne, THIS Smell, Lap Whisky, Brenda, Aw Thickets, Neck Tattoo, Rick the Tattoo Artist, Brenda Be My Baby, Baby Yaba, Seinfeld Energy, "I'M OUT", Master of Rules, Foon Master, Coiffed, Fran Sancisco, Fest Sketch, "My Penis is Up Here", New Book, Pickle Sticks, Podpires, No Earth in Foon, Pizza Hell, Well Technically, Busty Art, Way Busty, No Shoes, Live, Throwing Copper, Loop Year
August 03, 2020

Season 3, Ep 52 - Critic (w/ Edgar Momplaisir)

August 03, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 52 - Critic (w/ Edgar Momplaisir)

A famous critic joins the podcast to talk about his strange relationship to the plays he reviews. Maybe he'll review the podcast!

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August 03, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, The Fragmenting, Talbot, Talbot the Badger, Flex Mulligan, Flex on the Beach, Badger on a Jacked Body, Breaksies, Pee, Peed into Your Soul, OnlyFans, Brim and Brews, Brim and Brew, Tiny Usidore, Cock Ticklers, Cor Blimey, Pulitzer Prize, Finger the Rune, Critic, Jarmaine, Stage, Chuntworth, By the Moon, Ham Ill Ton, Oedipus, Ed or Piss, Arnold, Murder Actors, Validated Parking, Married Mother Murdered Father, Reviewing Podcast, Chekhov in the Theatre, Lightning Crashes, Live, Peeweyth Herman, Black Box Theatre, Illiterate, Hungry Wolf, Barther Miller, Joe the Mage Eyoo
July 08, 2019

Offices and Bosses S1E6: Teachers and Classrooms

July 08, 2019/ Garrett Schultz
Offices and Bosses S1E6: Teachers and Classrooms

Metamore has an expansion pack for the game. And Flower is back to play.

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July 08, 2019/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Bonus, Flower, Live, Metamore, Offices and Bosses, Chicago
February 11, 2019

Season 2, Ep 95 - Woodland Creatures (Live from PodCon with Demi Adejuyigbe and Miel Bredouw)

February 11, 2019/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 95 - Woodland Creatures (Live from PodCon with Demi Adejuyigbe and Miel Bredouw)

A bird and mouse that fly in Arnie's window every morning and help him get dressed stop by to chat.

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February 11, 2019/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Bird, Quest, Mouse, Ratatouille, Catch Phrases, Pocket Dimension, Podcon, Podcon2, Animals, Youths, Juicy Back There, Demographics, Blacksmithing, Youth Culture, Dressed in the Morning, Woodland Creatures, Fontleroy Obama, Pepper, Catering Company, Frants, Sea Captain, I Don't DO Genitals, Leonard Kravitz, Princess Arnie, Reaping Beauty, Pee, Condom, Pee Condom, Crumb Breaking, Old Usidore, Sea Shanty, She Shanty, Drum Sheen, Firing, Foot Condom, Miniature Mouse, Piss Socks, Earth Penis
December 17, 2018

Season 2, Ep 90 - What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawney Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago)

December 17, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 90 - What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawney Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago)

Activia Barleyfoot, Flower the talking flower, Jamilous the Mauve Wizard and more stop by to help celebrate the many holidays of Winter Solstice.

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December 17, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Activia, Live, Winter Solstice, Wizard, Birds, Twosidore, Shoes, Hammer, Spaghetti, Gift Exchange, Space Angels, A-Train, Holidays, Tiny Handman Dance, Eagle, Eagleman, What's Next, Christmas, Mom in the Bathroom, Boo, Visited by 3 Boos, Christmas Lights, Shakes like a Bowl Full of Shit, Hanukkah II, Kids are Stupid, Feast Season, Spell Book, Lootin', Yo is the Racist?, Sigh Bird Monday, Fuck Local Saturday, Gunderstein, John Henry Day, Bludgeon, Railroad, Maxotaur, Honda Days, Fit Bit, Highschool Sweetheart, Hallmark Channel, Dean Cain, Home Alone
November 12, 2018

Season 2, Ep 85 - Gettin' Nuts Season 2 (Live from the Kalamazoo Improv Festival)

November 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 85 - Gettin' Nuts Season 2 (Live from the Kalamazoo Improv Festival)

Chunt and Usidore kick off the second season of Gettin' Nuts with some help from Momo the Mouse and two very creepy twins.

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November 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Grimhoof, Live, Snickers, Gettin' Nuts, Starlings, Twins, Momo, Cockroach Clown, Bangin' Buds, Twosidore, Mayor Manana, Harry Potter, Obsidian Arm, Momo the Mouse, Conspiracy of Birds and Wind and Rain and Fire---, Fucked It Up, Perambulating for Pinecones, Season 2, 4 Million Episodes, No Arnie, Gettin' Buds, Vultures, Under the Stairs, Egret, Spooky Season, Tutu, Baby Kids, Stolen Eyes, Banana Seeds, Mouse Hatching, One Sperm, Bees, Gettin' Mutts, Wizard's Promise, Fall Down Stairs, Too Much Blood, Inside You, Small Children, Giant Dollhouse, Jelly Hands, Insult Comic, Breakfast Foods, Dating Game, Flaccid and Soft, Art of Kissing, Bananas Reproduced
October 08, 2018

Season 2, Ep 80 - Momo and the Mayor (Live from Chicago's iO Theater)

October 08, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 80 - Momo and the Mayor (Live from Chicago's iO Theater)

Momo the Mouse with Human Strength stops by to dish on Chunt’s love life and her own.

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October 08, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Arnie, Live, Sarah, technical difficulties witch, Twosidore, Made of Bees, Momo Don't Know, Mayor Manana, Dat Ass, Wizard State, Terrible Sheriff, King of the Arnies, Vamp Pyre, King of the Wizards, Earthly Form, Teenage Arnie, Chump Change, Naughty Earth Movies, Teenage Usidore, Tea Bag, Fortnight, Breakfast Club, Trix Rabbit, Piss on Tattoos, Momo the Mouse, Thruple, "How do you have a dick of bees and NOT be a wizard?", First Lady of Hogsface, King-Mayor, Oinge, Cap'n Arnie, Mrs- Manana, Political Scandal, Sad Sack, Cup, Top 10, Arm Wrestle, Momo State, Carved the Banana, Bee Play, It's a Wonderful Life
September 17, 2018

Season 2, Ep 77 - Just Todd (w/ Travis McElroy, Live from Indianapolis)

September 17, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 77 - Just Todd (w/ Travis McElroy, Live from Indianapolis)

We're back in the Vermillion Minotaur and excited to catch up with Chest Trünkborn, the mimic.

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September 17, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Vermilion Minotaur, Red Potion, Vampire, King of the Badger, This Very Table, Chu Chu's Chow, Mimic, Eat Arnie, You Might Be a Mimic, Chest Trunkborn, Ninja Turtle Hoodie, Aw Yeah Baby, VM, Bag Man, Brain Eviction, Briss, Twunt and Thrunt, Crown, Todd, Just Todd, Travis, Hot Goss, Todd Eats Farts, Scorpion and Frog, Whisky, Dori the Dragon, Dragon Walks into a Bar, Little Nasty Ass Boy, Nothing Special, Probably a Vampire, Bleh, Party Vampire, Be Our Guest, Proud of You, Joshing, Donger, Old Jersey, Art Thou a Narc?, Boring, Boring-Off
August 20, 2018

Season 2, Ep 73 - Globulous (Live from Indianapolis w/ Stuart Wellington)

August 20, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 73 - Globulous (Live from Indianapolis w/ Stuart Wellington)

Globulous the floating monster with eye stalks floats into the tavern with plans for the local rec center.

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August 20, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Boys Night, Live, Cat or Doctor, Pizza, Gettin' Nuts, Mage or Dad, Globulous, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh, Chef Cadence, Get Wet, Mayor's Sash, Standing, Drew, The Ruffled Feather, Ninja Turtle Hoodie, Litigious, Plants, More of a Raphael, Ruffalos, More of a Mary Ann, Banter, Turtle Demon, Giant Eagle, Theatre Wings, Girls Night, Slam Poetry, Them Night, Spill Beer, Badgie Needs a Diapie, Rec Center, Freeze Rays, Permit, Porous, Crypto Currency, Red Posies, Minions, Mamma Grousebush, Kick Starter, Games, Dexter, Roll Around, Fox Face, Sweet Valley High, Fuck Arnie, You Don't Want to be in a Tomato, Tomatos, Bad Bad, Dat Ass, Wizard State
May 07, 2018

Season 2, Ep 58 - Garbage Lady (w/ Betsy Sodaro, Live in LA)

May 07, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 58 - Garbage Lady (w/ Betsy Sodaro, Live in LA)

Grunkle, the Garbage Lady of Hogsface, stops by the tavern for the first time in 13 years. Also, everyone’s getting old.

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May 07, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, stroke, Butt Soup, Spells, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh, Mayor Manana, Magic, Glasses, Gettin' Old, Butthole Fell Out, Obsidian Hand, Friends Night, What Dis?, Friendship Score, Diahrrhea Fight, Diahrrhea Monster, Garbage, Garbage Eater, Audio Editing, Ringtones, Adobe, Mud Blood, Executioners, Nickelodeon, The Bright Sessions, Running for Office, Brainy, Home Invasion, Imagination, You Ain't Gonna Pass This Ass
January 22, 2018

Season 2, Ep 44 - Deputy Weaver of Parallel Truths (w/ David Plotz, Live from Washington D.C.)

January 22, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 44 - Deputy Weaver of Parallel Truths (w/ David Plotz, Live from Washington D.C.)

We interview a mouth piece of the Dark Lord in a packed tavern. We’re also joined by a solo nymbee of nymbee and Grundle. (Recorded live at the historic Sixth & I synagogue in Washington D.C.)

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January 22, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Boys Night, Grimhoof, Live, Music, EVIL!, Robot Arnie, Song, Spells, Dark Lord, technical difficulties witch, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh, Fake Noose, Chode, Squad Ghouls, Take a Knee, Washington D-C-, Emissary, Corrupted File, Sexy, nymbee and Grundle, Burning the Man, Wonderwall, Sex is Fantastic, National Anthem, Standing, Lord Fred, Dark House, Dwarven Miners, Citizen, Flaying Wizards, Telefis the White, Jyn'Leeviyah the Red, Fake News, Fake Moose, FPR, Wand Conrol, Twerking, NPR
January 08, 2018

Season 2, Ep 42 - Tomorrow (w/ Jordan Klepper Live from NYCC)

January 08, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 42 - Tomorrow (w/ Jordan Klepper Live from NYCC)

The Tavern is packed with a phoenix, a will o’ the wisp and more.

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January 08, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Amulet of Arthesis, Live, Holes, Phoenix, Chu Chu's Chow, Welcome to Night Vale, Last Supper, Tomorrow Salad, Evan Hansen, Coy Boy, Angela Merkel, Souls, Cranes, Grey Jeans, X-Men, Bruce Pimms, Fondu, Crock of Ship, Park, Elephant Ear, Jerry Lee Lewis, Improvisers, Sticky Microphone, So Much Guest Death, Click Hole, Body Dump, Swamp, On the Table, A Boy Named Sue, Fell Asleep, Phoenix University, Pair of Clothes, Tomorrow
November 13, 2017

Season 2, Ep 35 - New Guy (Live from Brooklyn)

November 13, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 35 - New Guy (Live from Brooklyn)

It’s a busy night in the tavern. We talk to a prolific but cursed bard, a guy who just moved to town with his wife and a beloved old longtime sponsor.

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November 13, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Boys Night, Bungaree Chubbins, Live, Music, Secret Names, Fat Shaggy, Song, technical difficulties witch, Cats, The Great Gatsby, Lil' Squish, 4chan, Brooklyn, SAD Bard, Song A Day, So Much Child Death, Blinded by the Light, Califor, Nia, Oooorrrrruuuuuuuu-sidore, Multiple Personality, Monologue, Big Dogs on the Porch, Jim Gaffiganning, Mario, Demon, Jonathan Mann, Zoink, Whales of Califor, Barth the Human, Badung-Dung, Cannoli, Druid, WB, Shape Shifter, Pionk, Shootin' the Chonch, Thieves, Teens, Stolen Tree, Tree House, Boat, Rotting Wood, Answer the Fucking Question, Ribbing, Magic Feather, Magic Hammer, Classic Barth, Lit, New Guy, Square Donut, David Beckham, Chamber Pots, Apprecibate, Toy Story 2, Barth and Arnie, Barthney, Bert and Ernie, Brooklyn 99
October 16, 2017

Season 2, Ep 31 - Bard, Elf and Fortune Teller (Live from Chicago)

October 16, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 31 - Bard, Elf and Fortune Teller (Live from Chicago)

The Tavern is packed with people, including a mysterious bard, DQ the elf and an amateur fortune teller. Also, Usidore conjures images from Arnie’s home: Chicago.

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October 16, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
D'athaniel Quen'yarvin, DQ, Live, Singing, The Dark Lord, Song, treesistance, Shit Standing, Portal, Low Battery, Hamilton, Bard, Get Bit Like a Mother Fucker, Little Child, A Dark Lord, Earth Songs, Light Lords, Random Opportunity the Rapper, Chicago, Festival of Riots, Tavern Background, Doritos, Evil Tower, Trump Tower, Perfect Strangers, Giant Metal Clitoris, Beatles Demon Goat, Organist, Burger King, Dath, Journaling, Kick, The Clap, Fortune Teller, Gypsy, Oh Brother, Borgie, Borg Borg, Swedish Chef, Half-Brother, Quest for Father, Non GIFs, Alcoholism, This Very Table
September 25, 2017

Season 2, Ep 28 - Gettin' Nuts (w/ Paul F. Tompkins, Live from Now Hear This in New York)

September 25, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 28 - Gettin' Nuts (w/ Paul F. Tompkins, Live from Now Hear This in New York)

Usidore and Chunt's spin-off podcast is visited by a dapper faun named Mister Chauncey, a series of bats and a talking acorn.

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September 25, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Automaton Constable, Getting Nuts, Series of Bats, 2000th episode, Mister Chauncey, Circuit City, Blue Torch Special, Nut Night, Portalia, Portal, Lion, Season Fouradawire, Saved By A Bell, Beige Witch, Rotten Tomatoes, Ways a Witch might Kill You, Owl Attack, Nuts to Butts, Clip Cloppin’, Ecuador, Guster, Thunder God, United Squirrel Space Realty, USSR, Twirl Squirrel, Girl Squirrel, Y2000, Fucking Nuts, Tomblain Belaroth, Alice P- Corn, Acorn, Racist, Pre-Fall, Spring of Rum, Man Bat Man, Tree in my Butt, Natalie Portman, House of Food, Magic and Shit, Loaf of Bread, Bear Shits in the Woods, Cath-O-Lick, Foon Faun
September 04, 2017

Season 2, Ep 25 - Sit in a Circle (w/ Todd Barry, Janet Varney, Cole Stratton, Matt Besser & Danielle Schneider, Live from Outside Lands Fest)

September 04, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 25 - Sit in a Circle (w/ Todd Barry, Janet Varney, Cole Stratton, Matt Besser & Danielle Schneider, Live from Outside Lands Fest)

An especially lively night in the tavern with visits from a raven, a warrior elf, an ill child, a giant dwarf and a fairy decorator.

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September 04, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Memory Gremlin, Fairy, Birds, Git-R-Table, Kermit, Raven, Furries, Fleshies, Shut and Drive, Coston Accent, Salsa, Chef Cadence, Messenger, Saloon, Telephone, Braidwynn, Elf, Razor Braid, Hobbies, E-L- Fudge, Sanctimonious the Red, Thundeer, 48379, Sneaky Cobbler, Keebler Elf, Arby's, Shame, Gatorade, Soda, Dew of the Mountain, Doctor's Pecker, Coked-up Koala, Cocaine, Fucking Chocolate Milk, Sourdough Bread, Tang Bread, Kermit's Corner, Timbo, Centaur Herpes, Eternally Ill, Disease Bomb, Chocolate Melk, Yahoo Serious, Gnome McDonald, Matt Dabbin', Giant Dwarf, T-Shirts, Foon Fest, Lord and Apez, I Eat Foon Poon, Rings, Shit Creature, Improv Comedy, Cinnamon, Tumbo?, Jasmine, Decorator, Sprite, Fisherman's Dwarf, Kool-Aid
May 01, 2017

Season 2, Ep 7 - Carfoonist (Live from Emerald City Comic Con)

May 01, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 7 - Carfoonist (Live from Emerald City Comic Con)

The Baron finds an old episode Arnie forgot to upload, from two days before the siege of Hogsface. Our hosts learn about magic paint from a "carfoonist."

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May 01, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Live, Carfoonist, Carfoon, Fooniversity, Marmaduke, Garfield minus Garfield, Kobolds, Charles Schmutz, Ugly Babies, Arts, Cargo Shorts, Ugly Sex, Drawings, Magic Paint, Microsoft Paint, Checking the Basement, Sklim, No Shoes for Tuesday, Pretty Shitty City, The Wizard of Ed, Anus, Piss On, Hat Problems, Lucy Moonstar, Magic the Gathering, Extra Life, Bards Against Humility, Limerick, Going on Quest
February 13, 2017

99 - Push Ups (w/ Michael Hitchcock and Erin Whitehead live from San Fransisco Sketchfest)

February 13, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
99 - Push Ups (w/ Michael Hitchcock and Erin Whitehead live from San Fransisco Sketchfest)

We're leaving on our quest in one week. But first... we talk to a butterfly and a reverse mermaid.

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February 13, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Butterfly, Mermaid, Boysenberry Night, Dildo, Blue Dildo, Holes, Tight Shirt, Moremen, Read the Stars, Open Wide, 4th Grade, Teasing, Boob Guys, Barnacle, Merman's Cock
December 12, 2016

91 - Magic Turkey (w/ Scott Adsit, Live from the Chicago Podcast Festival)

December 12, 2016/ Garrett Schultz
91 - Magic Turkey (w/ Scott Adsit, Live from the Chicago Podcast Festival)

It seems like a good time of year to interview a magical turkey.

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December 12, 2016/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Live, Turkey, Chicken, Duck, Durkey, Turduck, Poem, Farts, Mother, Father, Bowl of Soup, Soul Swap, Soul, Mug, Hunting, Rocky Horror, Detroit, Shannon Cason, Automaton Constable, Homemade Stories, WBEZ, 30 Rock, Chicago Podcast Festival
November 14, 2016

87 - Missing Fathers (Live from Now Hear This in Anaheim, CA)

November 14, 2016/ Garrett Schultz
87 - Missing Fathers (Live from Now Hear This in Anaheim, CA)

The tavern is very busy. Let's talk to the Pandenomicon, a sentient vapor... and maybe someone else.

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November 14, 2016/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Arnor, Chunt, Live, Spintax, Usidore, Step Counter, Pandenomicon, Now Hear This, Feats, Spells, Jar Jar Clinks, T-Shirt, Rhyme Battle, Lion Cubs, No Balls, Inhalation, Adoptive Fathers, Leprechaun, Fellowship of the Ring, 6 Pins Nun the Richard
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