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Hello from the Magic Tavern

Episodes

Hello from the Magic Tavern
  • Home/
  • The Podcast/
    • Episodes
    • Bonus Content
  • Community/
    • Patreon
    • Wiki
    • Book club
  • Merchandise/
  • Live Shows/
  • Contact/

Episodes


May 04, 2025

Season 5, Ep 54 - Prison Snake Princess (w/ Sayjal Joshi)

May 04, 2025/ Garrett Schultz
Season 5, Ep 54 - Prison Snake Princess (w/ Sayjal Joshi)

Foofina the Snake Princess wants to help Arnie, Usidore and Chunt survive prison by making them her minions.

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May 04, 2025/ Garrett Schultz/
The Topless Tower, Now in Our 10th Year, Darkwater Dave, You're a Tall Bag of Chips, Robbing a Horse, Tummy, Villains, Gut Hole, Dorisue, The Snake, Foofina, Snake Princess, Amazonian Snake Woman, Snake on the Bottom Party on Top, Piss in Jars, HBIC, Horny Bugs in Cahoots, Snakemaid, S.S.S., Murdering and Pillaging, Luting, Whittling Our Own Lute, Wizards, Prison Inside All of Us, Kitchen, Property of Foofina, Belly Rubs, Pet Names, Crownuts, Corvid Nuts, Getting Nuts, Gettin' Nuts, How Does Your Poop Work?, Cloaca, Minions, Zebra's Face, Favorite Foods, Fox Face, Chu Chu's Chow, Froders, Dripfang, Je Ne Snake Quoi, Jyn'Leeviyah the Red, Earwolf, Rent, Cats
August 13, 2023

Season 4, Ep 85 - Alpha Krom

August 13, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 85 - Alpha Krom

A visit to Fingaria in search of the powerful warrior Krom.

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August 13, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
On the Road, Wizard's Choice Awards, Loose Ends, Barn Owls, Egg Jerky, Fudge, Gettin' Nuts, Stage Coach, Security, Boulder, Krom, Krom the Fingarian, Merch, Branding, Logo, Alpha Fingarian, You Tube, Smash That Hole and Subscribe, 11 Tenents, Yeeted a Stagecoach, Punching, Fucking Bears, Pants Hole, You GOTTA Stretch, Out Boob Steak Tits, Awesome Brasom, Appleboobs, Full Medium, Krommunion, Not King Cold
July 02, 2023

Season 4, Ep 79 - 1989: Hospital (w/ Jordan Klepper)

July 02, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 79 - 1989: Hospital (w/ Jordan Klepper)

Little Arnie, Usidore and Chunt meet a competitive eater in the waiting room of an Earth hospital.

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July 02, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
1989, Hospital Waiting Room, Dropping Nuts, Gettin' Nuts, Tape Player, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh, World Wide Pitbull, Mohawk, Bird Carnage, Exxon Valdez, Kudos, Competitive Eating, Tampa, Professional Eater, 117ºF, Gout, Kohls, Rich Man's TJ Maxx, Chunk, Pork Howitzer, Fringe, 2 G's, Eating Against Yourself, Crystal Detecting Ring, Purines, Lot's of Rings, Happiness Spell, Interview, Grave News, Arnie is Dead, Porky Ho, Flashback Ring, Porkchop Howitzer, Bit by the Eating Bug, Critters 2, Seinfeld Season 1, Reverse Bird Vampire, Horse Face and Big Horse Dick, Electric Rainbow Bloodtype, Sour Cream and Bagel, Extra Big Toe, Dr. Butts, The Cosby Show
April 09, 2023

Season 4, Ep 69 - Traveling Salesman

April 09, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 69 - Traveling Salesman

A down on his luck traveling salesman stops by desperate to make a sale.

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April 09, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
Co-Hork, Poltergeist Voice, 4 Feet of Water, Hard Boiled Detective, Co-Bork, Scrying Pool, How Dare You to Keep Kids Off Magic, Fuck It Reading Program, Fuck It, Wares for Sale, Born In Bread, Segue, Minotaurs, Gettin' Nuts, Talking Nuts, Worn Wares, Nasty Mouth, Otok, Otok's Wife, Arthur Rent, Thomas Foolery, 3 Go's, 3 Doztuplets, A-Greg, Greg, Merchant, Salesman, Steal One Get One, Beautiful Boys, 36 Ales, Tims
November 07, 2021

Season 4, Ep 4 - Claudia Visits

November 07, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 4 - Claudia Visits

An old friend, Claudia the Witch, visits Nibblebottom to pursue some dicey business ventures.

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November 07, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Thomas Foolery, Fancy Pig, Tall Table, Spank, The Loose Ends, Beautiful Arnold, Nibblebottom, Virgin Red Potion, Chicken Butt, Claudia, Claudia the Witch, Witch, Putrid Piss, Investment, Independent, Down the Hatch You Old Snatch, Nuts, Nutt Butt, Gettin' Nuts, Nut Mouth, ASMR, Witch Morman, Paywitch Account, Bag of 400 Gold, Salmon Rushed Tea, Dating Pool, Incense and Amulets, Air Sex, Sweet Oinking, Killed the Dark Lord, Dark Lord, Nipple Off, Devils on Horseback, Deviled Legs, Your Fun Little Thing, Foons in My Hammy, Cough Up Blood, Zach Plasma, Drew, Tom Foolery
June 28, 2021

Season 3, Ep 96 - Tomblain and Rhiannon

June 28, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 96 - Tomblain and Rhiannon

Prince Tomblaine is torn between his love for the acorn Alice P. Corn and Rhiannon the milk maid.

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June 28, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Badger Boy, Fast Horses, Eataly, Tattoos, Northeastia, Sir Scootin', Shit Pants, Tomblain Belaroth, Alice P. Corn, Rhiannon, Love of My Life, Germ Crust, Butt Nut, Stabbed, Gettin' Nuts, Ana Phylactic, Big 'ol Wet Fart, Acorn, Milk Maid, Wizard, 12th Knight, Boy's Knife, Stewart the Cow Milker, Impossibly Sexy, Heavy Breathing, Sleeping Spell, Sexy Evil Seduction, Bagsville, In a Bag, Royal Cafeteria, Krefnen, Boys Night, O'Krefnen, Going to Die Now
January 18, 2021

Season 3, Ep 74 - The Mauve Wizard

January 18, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 74 - The Mauve Wizard

Jamillious the Mauve Wizard returns with an update on the Wizard Council.

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January 18, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Jamillious the Mauve, Wizard, Dozens, Gettin' Nuts, Tavern Time, Segments, Tavern and Shirley, Sleepy, Cranberries, Zombie, Artifacts, Dream Journal, Wseepy, Queen's Gambit, Slumber Cup, Krom, Great Out, Zard, Zards, Wizard Council, Zard Council, Searching for Spells, Amplify Magic, Beats by Yay, First Black Wizard, Mount Quack, Shot Scale, Shotlin Man, Natural-chos, Cold Drugs, Milk the Cheese, Talenth WIne, Talent Wine, Roosters Pin Pup, Jyn'Leeviyah the Red, Annunciat-gin, Butt Chug, Secret Names, Stuffed Apps, Toad, Pinch Boys, Pie Guy, Cobbler, Name Bracket, Don't Talk to Me Before I've Had My Head, Good Night Omon, Artifact in Head, Fluster Butt
December 14, 2020

Season 3, Ep 71 - Solstice Squirrel (w/ Josh Gondelman)

December 14, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 71 - Solstice Squirrel (w/ Josh Gondelman)

It's Winter Solstice time again and due to a snowstorm Arnie, Usidore and Chunt have to take shelter with a friendly squirrel.

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December 14, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Snow, Walking Noises, Windy, Shiftmas, Blizzard Wizard, Winter Solstice, Squirrel, Cataract, Acorn Nutbringer, Squirrel Friend, Hibernation Station, Nuts and Berries, Cold Bear Bra, Squirpable, Squirple Bowl, Big Cave, Loves Company, Hovel, Grampa Squirrel, Apple Store, Genius Bar, Gettin' Nuts, Brazil Nut, Tree Sap, Bunker, Skeletons, Bones, Fuck Chipmunks, Bones Sweet Bones, Tree Butt, Acorns, Poking, Craig the Chipmunk
November 23, 2020

Season 3, Ep 68 - 1989: Group Project

November 23, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 68 - 1989: Group Project

13-year old Arnie works on a school project with his classmate, Julie. Still trapped in 1989 Ohio, Usidore becomes a chemistry teacher.

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November 23, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Turn Tape Over, Teddy Ruxpin, 1989, Class Project, Mcgruff the Crime Dog, Hello from the Suburban Duplex, Rickey Henderson, Cedar Point, Cult of Personality, Professor Usidore, Wet Dream, Cool Skunk, Gettin' Nuts, Cult, E! All Night, SNL, Nick at Nite, Handies, Meijener, Murder of Crows, Earth Candy, Loafin', Alf Mug, Renaissance Faire, Ahead of the Curve, Ren and Stimpy, Devon Lava, Fucked a Couch, 22oz Bitch, Pee-wee Herman, Mug, Drink Me
May 25, 2020

Season 3, Ep 42 - Bibbits (w/ Alden Ford and Winston Noel from 'Mission to Zyxx')

May 25, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 42 - Bibbits (w/ Alden Ford and Winston Noel from 'Mission to Zyxx')

Two bibbits (they're sort of like halflings?) discuss the terrible burden they carry: a cursed trinket!

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May 25, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
The Shattering, Shattered, Welcome to the Magic Castle, Weak Guy, Little Beach Boi, Gettin' Nuts, Getting Nuts, James Brown, Sharing Password, Funkengonuts, Elvish Phrase, Fuck and GO NUTS!, Haunted Hot-Spring, Silent Eye, Good Constable Bad Constable, Bibbits, Hobbits, Second Breakfast, Noomsnies, Bibbit Burrow, Dead Constable, Shape Shifter, Terrible Burden, Swellies, Nightmancer, Trinket, Bangle, Simple Stupid Gardner, Packing Pipes, Rustley, Arthur Wiseman, Automaton Constable, Bobbits, Croissant, Artifacts, Ar-Tee-Fackt
September 23, 2019

Season 3, Ep 10 - Tree Wench (w/ Rachel Bloom)

September 23, 2019/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 10 - Tree Wench (w/ Rachel Bloom)

A walk through the forest leads to an encounter with a rare magical creature: a woman in a tree that's a fan of the podcast.

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September 23, 2019/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Boys Night, Spintax, Gettin' Nuts, Stab, Book of Sight, Keen, TekWars, Cory Oarman, Cory Oarsman, Reality, Coma, Forest, Tree Wench, Apothecary, Roast Master, Wood Peckers, Skrillex, Grimfin Tree, Sap, Jessica Wethole, Pussy, Bird Watch, No Spoilers, Sitcom, Fraiser Crane, Squeeze Nuts, Crushed Up Ball Cum, Jessica Wethole's Magical Hair Love, Shampoo, Wash Hair, Apple Tree, Apple Review
November 12, 2018

Season 2, Ep 85 - Gettin' Nuts Season 2 (Live from the Kalamazoo Improv Festival)

November 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 85 - Gettin' Nuts Season 2 (Live from the Kalamazoo Improv Festival)

Chunt and Usidore kick off the second season of Gettin' Nuts with some help from Momo the Mouse and two very creepy twins.

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November 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Grimhoof, Live, Snickers, Gettin' Nuts, Starlings, Twins, Momo, Cockroach Clown, Bangin' Buds, Twosidore, Mayor Manana, Harry Potter, Obsidian Arm, Momo the Mouse, Conspiracy of Birds and Wind and Rain and Fire---, Fucked It Up, Perambulating for Pinecones, Season 2, 4 Million Episodes, No Arnie, Gettin' Buds, Vultures, Under the Stairs, Egret, Spooky Season, Tutu, Baby Kids, Stolen Eyes, Banana Seeds, Mouse Hatching, One Sperm, Bees, Gettin' Mutts, Wizard's Promise, Fall Down Stairs, Too Much Blood, Inside You, Small Children, Giant Dollhouse, Jelly Hands, Insult Comic, Breakfast Foods, Dating Game, Flaccid and Soft, Art of Kissing, Bananas Reproduced
October 22, 2018

Season 2, Ep 82 - Chunt for Red October 4: Rainbow Squish

October 22, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 82 - Chunt for Red October 4: Rainbow Squish

It's time for Chunt's annual blood drive for lazy vampires, Chunt for Red October. This year he has two mummies along to help.

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October 22, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Rainbow Bowls, Blood Drive, Gettin' Nuts, Carfoon, Riddle, Crazy Jared, Get Wet, Stick, Per Ush, Other Podcast, Smaller Than a Thumb Dick, Underwater River, Professor Usidore, English, Shapelish, Blood Wet, Doris, Eugenia, Embalming Fluid, Organs and Jars, Pyramid, Hive of Mummies, Wummies, Curses, Hexes, Scrumble Bumble, Cold Spaghetti, Your Hex is on Fire, Danny Tanner, Cut it Out, Full House, Halloweve, Movies, Laser Discs, DVDs, Stanley Kubrick, Sexy Water Costume, Blormish
August 20, 2018

Season 2, Ep 73 - Globulous (Live from Indianapolis w/ Stuart Wellington)

August 20, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 73 - Globulous (Live from Indianapolis w/ Stuart Wellington)

Globulous the floating monster with eye stalks floats into the tavern with plans for the local rec center.

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August 20, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Boys Night, Live, Cat or Doctor, Pizza, Gettin' Nuts, Mage or Dad, Globulous, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh, Chef Cadence, Get Wet, Mayor's Sash, Standing, Drew, The Ruffled Feather, Ninja Turtle Hoodie, Litigious, Plants, More of a Raphael, Ruffalos, More of a Mary Ann, Banter, Turtle Demon, Giant Eagle, Theatre Wings, Girls Night, Slam Poetry, Them Night, Spill Beer, Badgie Needs a Diapie, Rec Center, Freeze Rays, Permit, Porous, Crypto Currency, Red Posies, Minions, Mamma Grousebush, Kick Starter, Games, Dexter, Roll Around, Fox Face, Sweet Valley High, Fuck Arnie, You Don't Want to be in a Tomato, Tomatos, Bad Bad, Dat Ass, Wizard State
March 12, 2018

Season 2, Ep 50 - Reply All Wizards

March 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 50 - Reply All Wizards

The secrets of the multiverse may be may be discovered by reporter Alex Goldman after he places a call to a mysterious green wizard.

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March 12, 2018/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Music, Space Bunker, The Void, Tricia, Spells, Knights in Spintax's Service, Gettin' Nuts, Fake News, Unicorn Dentist, Fizzle Von Pizzlewitch, Reply All, Internet, Usenet News Group, Phone Call, Call In, Spintax the Green, Gold-Man, Alt-Foon-Spellcasters, Win the Internet, Rendered Fat of Children, Dimensional Portal, Bust of Titania, Magic, Pattern Wizards, Penelope Penelope, Morgan Fairchild, Create, Kickball Leagues, Super Tech Support, Smart Phone, Supernatural, Pangendered, Bit Coin, Shit Coin, Foreign Prince Scam, Crypto Currencies, Pig Snouts, TBS Reruns, TLDR, Coyotes Strapped to Drones, Pot Catcher
December 04, 2017

Season 2, Ep 38 - Treasure Chest (w/ Travis McElroy)

December 04, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 38 - Treasure Chest (w/ Travis McElroy)

This large treasure chest has just been sitting near our table for years. Let’s open it.

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December 04, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Spell, Gettin' Nuts, Lil' Squish, Darby Barleyfoot, This Very Table, Auto Tuna, Auto Tune, Asterisk, Footnotes, Grugen, Get Wet, Treasure Chest, Grembare, Mimic, Mira Sorvino, Box, Cinnamon Bun, Rubert, Dread Pirate Roberts, Eat Arnie, 2 Buttholes, Questions, Previous Episodes, Not A Chest but a Chest, Doc Box, West Vagina, Clit Forest, Cubert, Ominous McIntyre, Chesticles, MBMBAM, My Brother My Brother and Me, Trunk Club, Summon, Wet Mice, Sweaters, You Might Be a Mimic, Different Tables, O-Talk, Barleyfoots
August 14, 2017

Season 2, Ep 22 - Twins

August 14, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 22 - Twins

Jayme and Sayme the creepy twin children of Baron Ragoon are back and stranger than ever. Also, Chunt is trying out some secret names for himself.

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August 14, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Baron Ragoon, Raisins, Gettin' Nuts, Jayme, Sayme, Breakfast Hands, Bronies, Bumble Puss, Kissing, Riddle, The Great Gatsby, Aprel Füls, Fish Years, Snub-nosed Motorboat, Lil' Squish, Context Clues, Skinny Man, Pranks, Rat Shit, Puberty, 4chan, Doll Inside, "You're Next", Dreaming, Little Froggy, Secrets, Nimble Widget, Extracting Memories, Rage Against the Machine, Dream Police, System of a Down, Mankind
July 31, 2017

Season 2, Ep 20 - King Krom

July 31, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 20 - King Krom

Krom the warrior is back, but he's been moving up in the world.

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July 31, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
The Cockticklers, Gettin' Nuts, Book Club, Riddle, Swamps McGee, Twosidore, Tattlesnake, Krom, Fake Noose, Thanks Old Llama, 52 Sentient Sacks of Flour, Goss Sling, Momo Message, King Krom, Sand-pit Clause, Clubnado, Climb It Deal, 48372, King Fing, Fingaria Appreciation Week, Finger Play, Pinky, Rornath, Raiders, Raid, Commerce through Travel, Fingarian Times, The Great Gatsby, Clock, River, All Hands for Roger, Red Tape, Parchment, Clues, 3 Doors Down, Crypt Tonight, Devour, Kelly Loves Dicks, Cool Side of the Dick, Missing Richard Simmons
May 22, 2017

Season 2, Ep 10 - Bro-taur (w/ Colt Cabana)

May 22, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 10 - Bro-taur (w/ Colt Cabana)

We interview a muscular half man, half animal... only he's not sure exactly what the animal half is.

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May 22, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Gettin' Nuts, Guard, Glyphs, Book Club, Shot, Herbs, Pyramid Scheme, Arnie Answers, Burning Bed, Dropped Thread, puppysupplies@magictavern-com, Brotar, Pitbull, Dorfski, Red Cups, Skullfiends, Jacked, Giant Penis, Crete Teen, Growus Maximus, Squats, Smallus Minimus, Dwarfski, Frankenberry, Dingle Berry, Furry Bottom, Baby Usidore, Taught Us A Lesson, Logistics of Stex, bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeeh
March 27, 2017

Season 2, Ep 2 - Birdman of Hogsface

March 27, 2017/ Garrett Schultz
Season 2, Ep 2 - Birdman of Hogsface

Larry Birdman returns to catch us up on the rules he'd like to change in the game of Mittens.

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March 27, 2017/ Garrett Schultz/
Episodes
Bungaree Chubbins, Butthole Weakly, Larry Birdman, Mittens, Dark Lord, Chicken, Gettin' Nuts, Snacks, FML, HTML, 404 Not Found, 3 Statues, Chicken Wing, Potatoes, Make a Wish, Turn Back Time, Cher, Time Out, 1st Trimester Abortion, Dick Wizardry, Hello from the Tavern, Buttholes Weekly, The Rickles Snicklebagger's, Goddesses, Foo, Oo, Oon
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