Hello from the Magic Tavern
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Hello from the Magic Tavern
  • Home/
  • The Podcast/
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Hello from the Magic Tavern

Episodes

Hello from the Magic Tavern
  • Home/
  • The Podcast/
    • Episodes
    • Bonus Content
  • Community/
    • Patreon
    • Wiki
    • Book club
  • Merchandise/
  • Live Shows/
  • Contact/

Episodes


December 03, 2023

Season 4, Ep 99 - Security Team

December 03, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 99 - Security Team

Momo, Krom and Blemish prepare to manage security for the Wizards Choice Awards.

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December 03, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
Greatest Lawyer in All of Foon, Greatest Warrior in all of Foon, No More Burger King, Burger King Closing, Horse Situation, Egg Hay Hair, Best Birdshit, Trongo, Trongo the Giraffe, La La Land, Blemish, Cat Dick, Dark Lord, Still Can't Kill Him, "Nice to Not Want to Kill You", Security Team, Wizard's Choice Awards, Momo, Large Momo, Bucket of Blood, Kromo, Wedding, Krom and Momo Sitting in a Tree, Momo the Fingarian, Cockles Raised, Sticks of Jerky, Bear Skin Rug Blanket, Scenarios, Protocols, Back to the Future, Shots, Top Shelf Shots, Possession
October 22, 2023

Season 4, Ep 95 - Soulwalker Hexas Ranger

October 22, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 95 - Soulwalker Hexas Ranger

The Soulwalker from Cowboy World comes to Foon to kill Arnie

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October 22, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
Get Wet from the Butthole Baby, Butthole from the Get Wet Baby, Bad Lips, BiBo, Eats Up a lot of Time, Shortened, USIDORE!, Greatest Lawyer in All of Foon, Greatest Warrior in all of Foon, Heard on the Astral Plane, All of Our Horses Are Somewhere, Saloon Doors, Soul Walker, Calling You Out, Homonyms and Homophones, Friendo, Foonian Standoff, Dresses All in Black, Crispin Versenjettericks Walker, Dark Lord, Soulwalker Hexas Ranger, Great State of Hexas, Six Shooters, Necklace of Arnie Tongues, Cyberpunk, Arnie 3kamp, Neon Lightcycle, Usicron the Mandroid, Ulysses, Make-out with Yourself, Varmint, Cyber Assignation, Extra Elbows, Cyber Implants, Steampunk World, Uncle Dead or Alive?, Dieselpunk World, Big Anchor, Swing Revival Worlds, Big-Daddy Arnie Niekamp, Arnie Nie-cramp
October 15, 2023

Season 4, Ep 94 - Ex (w/ Erin Whitehead)

October 15, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 94 - Ex (w/ Erin Whitehead)

Diane Mudpuppy is a traveling actress with a dark secret.

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October 15, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
Permabuddy, Red Queen Merzia, Paper Pen and Quill, TAVERN!, Blank Check, Blankie, Greatest Lawyer in All of Foon, Tattoo, Podcast Niechunt the Blue, Remember Bells?, Merry Band of Cursed Players, Diane Mudpuppy, Walk Walk Walk Walk, Dumb Audiences, Flower, Smart Bee, Mist, Play, Theatre, Salamander, Voices, Surrogate, Wand, Cum on an Egg, Love, Frosted Panes, Frosted Pain, 10 Dates with a Demon, Burn Barrel, Twosidore, Chris, Chrismust, Dark Lord
October 01, 2023

Season 4, Ep 92 - Tormaline Departs (w/ Zach Reino)

October 01, 2023/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 92 - Tormaline Departs (w/ Zach Reino)

Tormaline, Dragon Teen, is having a quarter millennia crisis.

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October 01, 2023/ Garrett Schultz/
Greatest Warrior in all of Foon, Micro Knight, Fast Talker, Lice, Lance, Knights of the Template, Sex Spell, Algebra, Pretty Tommy Dumpling, Wizards Choice Awards, Flursday the 12th, Tarnie, Tiny Arnie, Deprogramming Memories, Suckers Get Sucked, Tormaline Dragon Teen, Cup Collection, Cups and Plates, Horde, College Entrance Essay, Jizzleknob, Scaleal, Swamp Girl, Get Fucked in the Muck, Blemish, Dark Lord, Mumbly and Gross, Mumbles and Groans, Basement, Horde Law, West Egg, Karendum, Karendum of Swampbucha, Stepped in a Bucket, Chomp Chomp Stomp Stomp, One Minute of Fighting, Slothasaurus, Blood Island
September 18, 2022

Season 4, Ep 44 - Ghost Ship

September 18, 2022/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 44 - Ghost Ship

On their way back to Nibblebottom, Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore book passage on a ghost ship!

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September 18, 2022/ Garrett Schultz/
Road FROM Squogar, Seven and a Half Years, Papa Chunt, Eggy Baby, Sign Shell, Seanic Route, G-G-G-G-Captain?, G-G-G-G-First Mate, G-G-G-G-Ship Filled with Specters, Ghost Ship, Snake Hair, 250000 Years Ago, Skeletons, Non-Face, Dave, Bitter Bonnie, Human, Clink 2 Cups, Treasure, Pirates, Profitable Ship, Anna Kendrick, Brood, Crunchamatize, Dum-Dum, Yell at the Moon, Ring Trick, Wink Wink Nudge Nudge, Crewed by Bears, Bear Skeletons, B-B-B-B-Grizzlies, Bug Bear, Slide Whistle, Clang, Everything Go Clang, Dark Lord, Thermometers
June 05, 2022

Season 4, Ep 30 - Rats

June 05, 2022/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 30 - Rats

There's a party going on at the Strange Familiar, hosted by a rat fraternity.

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June 05, 2022/ Garrett Schultz/
Dorisue the Sorcerer, Catch a STD, With a Goat, Tormaline, Tormaline Dragon Teen, Dark Lord GONE!, Blemish, Bussing, You Can't Arrest a Mountain, Fuck the Sky, Shakey Cakes, Dark Lord, Mentos Disease, The Freshmaker, Revelers, Cooper Dead, Dirty Rats, Polo's with No Pants, Frat Event, Rush, Rho Alpha Tau, Dead Language, Ratin, Dairy Godmother, Rats, Frog House, Butt Grazing, Hazing, Fooniversity of Michigan, Ohioan, 1989, Can Arbor, Captain Charlie Havarti, Elephant Walk, Owl House, Something Unpredictable, Pledge, Start Our Own Frat, Fraternity, Arm Wrestle, Come at the King, Little Buffs, Confidence Ring, Mage Sex Location
March 20, 2022

Season 4, Ep 21 - Talking Crossbow Visits (w/ Colton Dunn)

March 20, 2022/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 21 - Talking Crossbow Visits (w/ Colton Dunn)

DeMonte the Talking Crossbow returns, confused about the fact that the DL is dead but his crossbow curse hasn't been lifted.

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March 20, 2022/ Garrett Schultz/
The Strange Familiar, Strange Familiar, Slobodan, Pinky Clinkys, Wild Fire, Pinky Ring, No Pinky, Sincere High-Five, Slope on Down Slobodan, Ski Resort, Pretending to Die, Cake Boss, Velsmeer Army, DeMonte the Talking Crossbow, Crossbow, Just a Dude, Curse, Jyn'Leeviyah the Red, Screwin' the Animals, Food Truck, Dark Lord, Killed the Dark Lord, Toasts, Toast of the Towne, Loaves of White Bread, Bread, Airheads, Listing Shops, Toast Cough, Turn Back to Human, Cumming, Cum Frog, Statue, Theranos, Conspiracy Theory, Different Types of Stores
February 06, 2022

Season 4, Ep 15 - Aprel Füls Visits (w/ Asher Perlman)

February 06, 2022/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 15 - Aprel Füls Visits (w/ Asher Perlman)

Usidore's "best friend" Aprel Füls, the gnome prankster, comes to Nibblebottom to say goodbye.

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February 06, 2022/ Garrett Schultz/
Nibblebottom, Black and White Smithery, Father of Pearl, Pinky Clinkys, Joe Pesci, Was Usidore, Bed Head, Death Bed, Death Bed on My Head, Basement, Tormaline, Dark Lord, Burn Book, Entrapment, Al Pacino, REM, Losing My Religion, Fake Cigars, Pranks, Aprel Füls, Gnome, Trio of Pranksters, May and August Füls, Impractical Jokers, In the Bush, In the Bushes, Footlong Tack, Shit Lungs, Loan Porpoise, Man of Spiders, Ben Uncle, And Now I'm Dying, Aunt May
December 19, 2021

Season 4, Ep 10 - Year Without a Chris Must

December 19, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 10 - Year Without a Chris Must

An ancient pact requires the Dark Lord, hidden in the basement, to fulfill his duties as the Chris in Chris-Must.

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December 19, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Solstice, Winter Solstice, Nibblebottom, Gift, Podcast, Eggnog, Tormaline, Dragon Teen, Flower, Holiday Shopping, Gift Carbs, Double Fuck Double You, Two Biggest Assholes I Know, Music, Song, Christmust, Christ Must Carols, Chunt-Chunt-Chunt, If He Dies He Dies, Dark Lord, Alligatorade, Opening Doors, Songs, Ooga-Lega-Weegga-Cheega, Tasks, Leftenant Homonym, Admiral Homonym, Magic Fucking Ears, Child, Hear Wishes, Debbie, Snowsidore, Usnowdore, Carfoon, Soul Walker, Chris Must Clause, 2 Carrots, So Many Carrots, Snowma and Snowpa, Three Scoops of Ice Cream
December 12, 2021

Season 4, Ep 9 - The List

December 12, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 9 - The List

The dragon in the basement needs a list of who it is and isn't okay to kill.

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December 12, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
No Guest, Nibblebottom, The Strange Familiar, Eyes Bigger, Isos, Kegels for Your Face, Grab Face by Both Sides, Adorable, Deep Voice, Runner, Isolate, Home Alone, Happy Thieve's Maze, Huge Head, Popeye, Allergic Reactions Are Not Muscle, Dark Lord, Not Wanted Posters, Kevrat, Ass Hat, Mirrors, Covered Mirrors, Anime of Green Gables, Ruben, Wait Staff, Cooper, Body Spice, Beautiful Arnold, Vermilion Minotaur, Usidore's, Business Geniuses, Chu Chu's Chow, Drink Floyd, Weird Ales, Strange Joann Fabric, Tormaline, Sweetums, Lists, Ok to Kill-List, Little Bell, Arley, Mimsey, Twosidore, Leftenant Homonym, Night Doctor, Horsey McMurder, Zach Plasma, or...Still Crazy After All These Beers, Offal, Big Baby Offal, Big Baby Awful, Dry Spell, Ogre Whats Good At Magic
December 05, 2021

Season 4, Ep 8 - Beer Window

December 05, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 8 - Beer Window

A night of drinking magical mental martinis leads to the discovery of a murder!

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December 05, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Bonksgiving, Winter Solstice Season, Gunderstein, Zach Plasma, Plack Zazma, Season 3, Clip Show, Unlistenable, DL, Dark Lord, Nibblebottom, Holiday Songs, Nasty Raviolis, Clipped Show, Thieves, Pirate, Nude Listeners, Chris, Christmust, Tormaline, Blemish, Basement, Shitty Shoes, Fake Ad, Recalypso, Thomas Hanks, Fluid Sucked Out of People, Extinguish Candle, MURDER!, Serialized Killer, Red Rums, Hatchet, Corporeal Punishment, Animated Hatchet, Inocchipin, Paggetto, Crickety Jimnet, Shots, Jägermurder, Darrilian, Ian, Orgasm, Rear Window, Mice, Two Kind Mice, Suicide Pact, Suicide Ontario, Poster, Bob Hatchet, Pedialyte, Allison Bi, Scared of Hatchet, Ebenezer, Time Travel, Back to the Future
November 28, 2021

Season 4, Ep 7 - Tormaline Dragon Teen (w/ Zach Reino)

November 28, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 7 - Tormaline Dragon Teen (w/ Zach Reino)

A teenage dragon in human form applies for an internship.

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November 28, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Hot Potato, Tall Table, Backflip, Falling, Witch Wedid, Intern, Blemish, Dragon Teen, Big Table, Dragon, Magic, Shapeshift, Teenager, Little Cute Wings, Wings, Horde, 24/7 Housing, Climax Please, Lawn Jerry, Dragon Queen, Carte Blanche, Dark Lord, Wood House, Cone of Silence, Mindle the Grindle, Come Kings, Hordakkah, 8 Millennia, Water Bread, Kips, Basement, Filthy Fish, Zach Plasma, Duck Penises
November 21, 2021

Season 4, Ep 6 - Town Daddy's Brother (w/ John Hodgman)

November 21, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 6 - Town Daddy's Brother (w/ John Hodgman)

The beloved Town Daddy has been murdered. But the Town Daddy's suspicious brother is here.

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November 21, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Strange Familiar, Nibblebottom, Unnameable Mountain, Town Zaddy, Beautiful Arnie, Lawn Jerry, Confide, Grubs, Hate the Taste of Grubs, Wizard's Choice Awards, Posthumous, Dead Kid's Choice Award, Telefis the White, Dark Lord, Tall Table, Nevillebottom, 2 Out of 3 Ain't Bad, Town Daddy, Town Daddy's Brother, Broken Torso, Alexion, Kev the Town Uncle, Ruben, Wizla the Wind Sprite, 200 Gallon Aquarium, Flame Sharks, Psycho Prawn, Shut Up Vowels, Paranoia, Bougie Fuck, Voting, Grow Back Better, Poison, Motiv, Fucked Up, Sup Arnie?, Murder on the Orient Express, Peas and Carrots, Flame Shark Poison, Trippin' Balls, Gazebo, Southern Court Room, Skulduggery, Hollowed Gram, Marvin Martian, Glerp, IF I Did It
November 07, 2021

Season 4, Ep 4 - Claudia Visits

November 07, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 4 - Claudia Visits

An old friend, Claudia the Witch, visits Nibblebottom to pursue some dicey business ventures.

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November 07, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Thomas Foolery, Fancy Pig, Tall Table, Spank, The Loose Ends, Beautiful Arnold, Nibblebottom, Virgin Red Potion, Chicken Butt, Claudia, Claudia the Witch, Witch, Putrid Piss, Investment, Independent, Down the Hatch You Old Snatch, Nuts, Nutt Butt, Gettin' Nuts, Nut Mouth, ASMR, Witch Morman, Paywitch Account, Bag of 400 Gold, Salmon Rushed Tea, Dating Pool, Incense and Amulets, Air Sex, Sweet Oinking, Killed the Dark Lord, Dark Lord, Nipple Off, Devils on Horseback, Deviled Legs, Your Fun Little Thing, Foons in My Hammy, Cough Up Blood, Zach Plasma, Drew, Tom Foolery
October 31, 2021

Season 4, Ep 3 - Pirate (w/ Austin Creed aka Xavier Woods)

October 31, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 3 - Pirate (w/ Austin Creed aka Xavier Woods)

A pirate searching for the water stolen from his land visits the tavern.

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October 31, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Nibblebottom, Tall Table, The Strange Familiar, Unnameable Mountain, Dark Lord, Scritches, Zoomies, Plague of Hawks, Hawk a Million, Million Hawks, Hawks, Pirate, Xavier Woods, Wrestling, WWE, Land Pirate, Batman, Bee Smirched, Thigh Patch, Birds, King's Juice, Burglars, Capslocksia, Dehydration, Bacon, Prince, Leonard Crevice, Dolphin's Galore, 90's Kids, Gak, Salty Gak, Vessel of Everwater, The Lazy Horseshoe, Argyle Sword, Ship, Land Pirate Ship, Chedda, Tanks of Sharks, Young Arnold, Surge, Fruitopia, Snapple, Daniel Swartheimer Pibb, Mr. Pibb, Dr. Mario, Lewd Squeegee, Tony Hawk, Howard the Duck, Beautiful Arnie
October 18, 2021

Season 4, Ep 1 - A New Age (w/ Jessica McKenna)

October 18, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 4, Ep 1 - A New Age (w/ Jessica McKenna)

A new era of peace dawns in Foon, but maybe that’s not entirely true. More importantly we talk to a wind sprite that loves to hear wishes.

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October 18, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Season 4, Victory!, Usidore, Cheering, Screaming, New Tavern, Wizpees, Penile Leakage, New Table, Tall Table, Chair Ladder, Floating, Peeing, Wizard Rootbeer, Killed the Dark Lord, Nibblebottom, The Strange Familiar, Hamlet, Unnameable Mountain, Not in the Basement, Basement, Dark Lord, Black and Whites Smith Shop, Loose Ends, Rapping, Cooper, Rootbeer, Mini Soda, Town Daddy, Town Mommy, Town Daddy's Brother, Don't Just Eat It You Can Be It, Wind Sprite, Wishing Well, Goo That Knows No Names, Town Zaddy, Sports, Long Distance Running, Well Cum, Urcean, 23 and Me, Kodiak Killer, Big Wink, Bright Eyes, Falling, Off Book, Owen the Conductor of the Wagon Wheel, Gust Who, Reminder Binder, Are You Crazy?
August 16, 2021

Season 3, Ep 101 - Volcano

August 16, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 101 - Volcano

Season finale. Dripfang and the Soulwalker battle Momo, Krom and Blemish (and Usidore, Chunt and Carfoon Arnie) on a volcano!

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August 16, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
Boat, SS Stephanie, Carfoon, Cafarnie, Fireworks, Volcano, Blemish, Carfoon Blemish, Momo, Flip Flops, Krom, Krom the Barbarian, Krom the Fingarian, Final Episode, Dripfang, Dripfang LeDespare, Soul Wa, Metal as Hell, Game Recognize Game, Skeleton Army, Fire Boat, Bears, Bear Orgy, Snake Bumps, Lava Archers, Masters of Mayhem, Attack Bats, Dark Lord, Flirty Chain Mail, Goblin Architects, Lava, Obsidian, Empathy, It's Not Your Fault, All Named Randy, Roblin, Fireballs, Huge Dick Balls, Jerry Lee Lewis, Vacation, Pizza Skull, Zombies, Battle Pizza, Skateboard, Best Friends, Memory Palace, Crispix, Ratatouille, Fastball Special, Merchandise, Shots, Kelsey Getting Married, Partying, Certified Party Animal, Parrot Heads, Wizards, Wizard Deaths, The True Death, True Purpose, EVIL!, Ar-Tee-Fackt, Ball of Light, Fast Horses
August 02, 2021

Season 3, Ep 99 - Magic Mirror (w/ Niccole Thurman)

August 02, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 99 - Magic Mirror (w/ Niccole Thurman)

A Magic Mirror wants to start living her own life. Also, an imposter pretends to be Arnie.

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August 02, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
4 Years and 4 Weeks, Vermilion Minotaur, The Immortal Roach, Dive Bar, Shitty Bar, Hoobastank, Spake, Expectant Past Tense, Queen Trachea, King Tomblain, Magical Forest, David Allen McKenzie, The Scattered, TENƎT, Tenet, Mira Mirror, Evil Queen, Fairest, Ornate, Spake Bank, Magic Carpet, Mirror, Resumé, Latin, 6 Feet Tall, I Don't Get Hungry I Get Even, Cracks, Clean Cage, Party in the Front Business in the Back, Bragging, Dark Lord, Seeing Assholes, Morglorb, Magic Guy, Legs or Something, Sorcerer, Mirror with Legs, Chunky Heels, Arnold, Carnival Wilson
March 08, 2021

Season 3, Ep 81 - The Wizard's Council

March 08, 2021/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 81 - The Wizard's Council

At last, the wizards convene to form a plan to defeat the Dark Lord...and celebrate six years of Hello from the Magic Tavern!

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March 08, 2021/ Garrett Schultz/
6 Years, Anniversary, Podcast, Wizard Convention, Chizard, Yes AND I shit, Wizard Council, Elephant and the Squid, Bangin' Buds, Green Chicken, Spint Ax, Lanyard, Speed Runs, Gold, Slender Man, Flagons of Ale, Cluck You, Zards, French Kissing and Barfing, Dokken, Sex Things, Inside Arnie's Head, Artifact, Making Titans, Teen Titans Go, Escape Jewel, Trap Jewel, Avoid the Oid, Can the Wizard, Coats, Eunice, Eunice the Ecru, Food Sex, Jalapeńo Poppers, Secret Names, Spintax Song, Spintax the Green, Jamillious the Mauve, Jyn'Leeviyah the Red, Whack a Hole, Obsidian Sword, Usidore's Hand, Dagger of Ethereum, Gnomes, Secret Butthole, Fuck You Off, Suckers Get Sucked, Can Force, Dark, Dark Lord
December 07, 2020

Season 3, Ep 70 - Arnor's Next Feat

December 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz
Season 3, Ep 70 - Arnor's Next Feat

Arnor the legendary warrior crashes into Castle Skullmaster with some surprising news.

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December 07, 2020/ Garrett Schultz/
Obsidian Sword, Shattered, Teleport, The Shattering, Murder Can, Usidore's Hand, Arnor, Castle Skullmaster, Skullmaster, Time Travel Vision Quest, Time Travel, Killing Butterflies, Obsidian, Fragment Walls, Feats, Shafted, Dark Lord, The Fragmenting, Fiction Books, Wellness Spa, Bornian Hotsprings, The Handsome Duck, Lady Maribelle, Obsidian Mines, Wall Balls, Bruce the Sky God, Lost Bill, Soul Walker, Helping Verbs, Crispin the Pervert, Hot Spring
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